My Left Sneaker is now Sacred

If ya wanna know why, well, read on. It all started in the morning, around 5 minutes after I got out of bed (aka 35 minutes after I woke up). I had a weird gut feeling that brown-bagging lunch today instead of buying the mysterious mixture of garbage they sell at school would be a good idea. So when I was getting my lunch from my locker, Jarrod's class was walking by, and the outside of his right sneaker brushed against the outside of my left sneaker. But Brooks (aka Doofy Chicken, but let's just call him DC for short) was right in front of him, and if anybody finds out FOR SURE that it was DC, please contact me so I can burn the sneaker. Ick.